|
|
Post by markindurham on Oct 22, 2011 0:53:46 GMT -5
And to make the circle complete. Just heard there was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. 3.1415927 dead ;D Rounds it off nicely  |
|
|
|
Post by markindurham on Oct 22, 2011 2:16:54 GMT -5
Just seen this one, posted elsewhere...
Forty travellers from Dale Farm arrive at the Pearly Gates in their caravans. St Peter goes to the gatehouse and phones up God, asking: ‘Can I let them in?’
God replies: ‘We are full, but tell them to choose among them which are the 12 most worthy and I will let them in.’ A minute later St Peter calls God again: ‘They’ve gone.’
‘What?’ says God, ‘all 40 of them?’
‘No, the Pearly Gates.’
|
|
|
|
Post by markindurham on Oct 22, 2011 11:37:39 GMT -5
A Welsh Muslim was caught today having sex with a young sheep. In his defence he said it was islam and he could do whatever he liked with it.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2011 16:16:18 GMT -5
A Welsh Muslim was caught today having sex with a young sheep. In his defence he said it was islam and he could do whatever he liked with it. Yeah, and the chances are, he picked the ugliest one in the flock. |
|
|
|
Post by chriswood on Oct 22, 2011 17:14:08 GMT -5
A Welsh Muslim was caught today having sex with a young sheep. In his defence he said it was islam and he could do whatever he liked with it. Yeah, and the chances are, he picked the ugliest one in the flock. That would only matter if it was a missionary position he was after having surely. |
|
|
|
Post by markindurham on Oct 23, 2011 2:01:01 GMT -5
Yeah, and the chances are, he picked the ugliest one in the flock. That would only matter if it was a missionary position he was after having surely. Well, I did hear that her name was Baaabara |
|
|
|
Post by Soulman on Oct 23, 2011 12:28:11 GMT -5
What is the difference between a Black cab and Man U............a black cab only lets 5 in
|
|
|
|
Post by mouse on Oct 23, 2011 12:43:35 GMT -5
What is the difference between a Black cab and Man U............a black cab only lets 5 in |
|
|
|
Post by Soulman on Nov 16, 2011 13:30:53 GMT -5
On a recent trip to the United States , Tony Blair, Ex. Prime Minister of the UK , addressed a major gathering of Native American Indians. He spoke for almost an hour on his plans for a Carbon Trading Tax for the UK and Europe At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd presented him with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle. A very chuffed Tony then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.. A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came to select the new name given to Tony Blair They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit that it can no longer fly.
|
|
|
|
Post by fretslider on Nov 16, 2011 13:32:27 GMT -5
On a recent trip to the United States , Tony Blair, Ex. Prime Minister of the UK , addressed a major gathering of Native American Indians. He spoke for almost an hour on his plans for a Carbon Trading Tax for the UK and Europe At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd presented him with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle. A very chuffed Tony then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.. A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came to select the new name given to Tony Blair They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit that it can no longer fly. ;D |
|
ladylinda
Moderatorz 
Poetry Editor
July 2011 Member of the Month, May 2014 Member of the Month
Posts: 4,901
|
Post by ladylinda on Nov 16, 2011 14:21:42 GMT -5
Tommy Robinson/Stephen Lennon turned up at the Pearly Gates.
St Peter said to him, "sorry, son. can't let you in. It'd be too confusing to have someone here who's got an alias and criminal convictions."
|
|
|
|
Post by markindurham on Nov 16, 2011 15:04:28 GMT -5
On a recent trip to the United States , Tony Blair, Ex. Prime Minister of the UK , addressed a major gathering of Native American Indians. He spoke for almost an hour on his plans for a Carbon Trading Tax for the UK and Europe At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd presented him with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle. A very chuffed Tony then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.. A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came to select the new name given to Tony Blair They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit that it can no longer fly. ;D |
|
|
|
Post by markindurham on Nov 16, 2011 15:14:54 GMT -5
Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing
Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder..'
The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down.
She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches.
Then, she walked off.
Mick said to Paddy, 'Isn't that just like a blonde!
We Need the height, and she gives us the bloody length!!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 17, 2011 11:40:41 GMT -5
What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
* * *
* * *
* * *
* * *
"Full", of course . . .
|
|
|
|
Post by Soulman on Nov 17, 2011 15:46:00 GMT -5
A woman's dog is drowning in the sea, a German Dwarf dives in, pulls out the dog resuscitates it and saves it's life "Are you a little Vet?" asked the woman, "A little Vet" said the German Dwarf, "I'm friggin soaked"
|
|
Alpha 
