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Post by Soulman on Apr 8, 2020 2:29:11 GMT -5
Just rang the incontinence hotline, the voice asked, "where are you ringing from"?.....I said, "from the waist down"..
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Post by mouse on Apr 8, 2020 3:43:51 GMT -5
Just rang the incontinence hotline, the voice asked, "where are you ringing from"?.....I said, "from the waist down"..
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Post by Soulman on Apr 12, 2020 7:13:31 GMT -5
I once sang in front of the Prince of Wales, then I staggered further up the road and sang in front of the White Lion!
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Post by Soulman on Apr 21, 2020 10:21:08 GMT -5
Soulman's thought for today. If the constant bleeping of your Carbon Monoxide detector is making you dizzy and giving you a headache. Then remove the battery.
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Post by Soulman on Aug 26, 2020 16:26:20 GMT -5
The police came over to my house last night after me and my wife had an argument. I said “Officer there’s no reason for you to be here tonight, I’ve already tasered her.”
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toby1
Craftsman
Supplier of White Flags to the French Army.
Posts: 1,987
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Post by toby1 on Aug 27, 2020 20:56:43 GMT -5
A starving Biafran baby fell into a Crocodile infested river, it ate three crocodiles before they could drag it out.
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toby1
Craftsman
Supplier of White Flags to the French Army.
Posts: 1,987
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Post by toby1 on Aug 27, 2020 21:05:35 GMT -5
In the Leper colony they were playing cards One Leper threw his hand in. Another Leper laughed his head off. A third Leper asked, What's eating you ??
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toby1
Craftsman
Supplier of White Flags to the French Army.
Posts: 1,987
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Post by toby1 on Oct 18, 2020 21:52:31 GMT -5
A Feminist Woman was telling her colleagues at work, "I don't need a Man for sex" ! "What do you do"? asked a girl. "I do it by myself", replied the Feminist "What happens if you don't have an orgasm", asked the girl ?
"I fake it", replied the Feminist !
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toby1
Craftsman
Supplier of White Flags to the French Army.
Posts: 1,987
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Post by toby1 on Oct 18, 2020 22:14:44 GMT -5
A liberated Muslim girl had many boyfriends and she opened her legs to most of them because she knew that one day her Family would demand she marry a Muslim boy and settle down. She knew that her lack of virginity was a big problem that she would have to solve but she reckoned that she could cross that bridge when necessary. After a while her Parents started hinting that she should be thinking of marriage and settling down, they knew she was strong minded and were quite surprised when she agreed that yes, she should be thinking of marriage and that they would have to consider looking for a husband in due course. The matter of lost virginity could be resolved at a local clinic that attended to such matters, so knowing that time was of the essence she made an appointment for the next available slot in their busy schedule. Upon arrival she was met by the Doctor who explained that unfortunately they had almost run out of animals skin used to reconstruct the hymen and the one bit they did have was probably not suitable due to the stencilling used to identify the meat. The Lass asked to have a look at the bit of meat and said ,"OK I accept you can use that", so they got her on the table and stitched it in thus restoring her to ,virgo intacta. Upon arrival at home she told her Parents she accepted they could find a husband for her but she had one condition, she wanted to choose his name. Her Parents were surprised at this request but no biggie, they started looking and eventually a suitable Muslim guy was chosen, they got engaged and a date was set for the marriage. The big day came and they were made Man and Wife so the happy couple had the lavish reception then off to the honeymoon hotel room where they disrobed. The Groom got out the little torch that Muslim Fathers give to their sons to check their wives and told her to open her legs so he could have a look, he was so surprised he said to her," you must really love me, you got my name tattooed on your hymen" !!
"Yes Danish", said the Bride !
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