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Post by Soulman on Jan 15, 2016 17:56:54 GMT -5
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy".............
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Post by Scottish Lassie on Jan 17, 2016 4:46:56 GMT -5
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?” She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?” “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?” “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.” “Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy"............. Love it Soulman, give us some more.!!!
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Post by Scottish Lassie on Jan 17, 2016 4:50:00 GMT -5
A government warning said that anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets or sleeping bag, extra clothing including a scarf hat and gloves. Also a 24 hour supply of food and drink, a de-icer, rock salt, torch & spare batteries. In addition they should take a safety triangle, tow rope, petrol can, first aid kit & jump leads.. I looked like a right berk on the bus this morning! Funny Funny Funny for sure.!!! Soulman.
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Post by Soulman on Jan 20, 2016 13:16:32 GMT -5
It is always best to check I Emailed my boss today saying "I wouldn't be attending as I have been in bed for a few days with a migraine" it auto corrected it to in bed with a migrant.
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Post by Soulman on Jan 21, 2016 16:29:41 GMT -5
Ireland’s worst air disaster happened this morning when a two seater Cessna aeroplane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 3,847 bodies so far and expect the number to increase as digging continues through the night...
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Post by beth on Jan 21, 2016 16:48:43 GMT -5
Ireland’s worst air disaster happened this morning when a two seater Cessna aeroplane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 3,847 bodies so far and expect the number to increase as digging continues through the night... groan ......
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Post by Soulman on Feb 2, 2016 17:50:29 GMT -5
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Post by Soulman on Mar 6, 2016 12:14:39 GMT -5
BREAKING NEWS..............The inventor of throat lozenges has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral.
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Post by Soulman on Mar 17, 2016 12:47:40 GMT -5
I went to the Doctors the other day with hearing problems. He said 'can you describe the symptoms'. I said 'Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair'!!!
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Post by Soulman on Mar 22, 2016 16:15:52 GMT -5
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Post by Soulman on Mar 22, 2016 16:18:15 GMT -5
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Post by fretslider on Mar 22, 2016 16:39:54 GMT -5
Unfortunately, we could worse and what's even worse is we do.
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Post by Soulman on May 4, 2016 12:11:18 GMT -5
I've just rung up Sea World to get the opening times and ticket prices. I got one of those recorded messages. "Your call may be recorded for training porpoises".
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Post by Soulman on Jul 12, 2016 14:55:42 GMT -5
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Post by Soulman on Sept 4, 2016 6:37:16 GMT -5
Bang up to date with this one..........
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