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Post by beth on Jan 9, 2011 19:31:16 GMT -5
And ... at the most basic .. we have to love ourselves, at least a little.... I can be a real heartbreaker. I don't know what I see in myself! lol I do. It's the way you play that strat. Endless source of fascination ... even to your own self.
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Erasmus
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Post by Erasmus on Jan 9, 2011 20:41:30 GMT -5
Love is experiencing that on your own, you are less than a person. It is only liberating yourself from restriction to one body, to merge and lose identity as part of a composite being that gives you a sense of identity: you lose yourself to gain your Self. No longer an 'I', but part of a 'We'. It is the first step towards experiencing divine Totality. Once you are accepted to love one, it becomes so much easier to love all.
Love is Liberation from individuality.
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Post by mouse on Jan 10, 2011 4:55:50 GMT -5
lust..convienience..opportunity..time and place hell of a lot of frogs out there
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Post by fretslider on Jan 10, 2011 6:18:38 GMT -5
I can be a real heartbreaker. I don't know what I see in myself! lol I do. It's the way you play that strat. Endless source of fascination ... even to your own self. There's no fooling you, beth!
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Post by fretslider on Jan 10, 2011 6:23:24 GMT -5
"I don't know why it is that we are capable of having sex with someone we dislike and despise."
We?
Not me. I could not imagine doing such a thing.
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Post by beth on Jan 10, 2011 9:41:29 GMT -5
"I don't know why it is that we are capable of having sex with someone we dislike and despise."We? Not me. I could not imagine doing such a thing. I'm lost on this, too. Sounds pretty awful. What would be the reason? Desperate and can't find a partner one likes? How desperate would one need to be?
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Post by maggie on Jan 10, 2011 12:53:07 GMT -5
"I don't know why it is that we are capable of having sex with someone we dislike and despise."We? Not me. I could not imagine doing such a thing. I'm lost on this, too. Sounds pretty awful. What would be the reason? Desperate and can't find a partner one likes? How desperate would one need to be? Can't imagine why anyone would want to have sex with someone they dislike and despise unless they were a masochist or something. Love is putting the other person's happiness before your own (though better if people both were equally happy of course)!!
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Post by mouse on Jan 10, 2011 16:11:37 GMT -5
"I don't know why it is that we are capable of having sex with someone we dislike and despise."We? Not me. I could not imagine doing such a thing. I'm lost on this, too. Sounds pretty awful. What would be the reason? Desperate and can't find a partner one likes? How desperate would one need to be? i think it would cover..loveless marriages and prostitution..based on lust etc
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2011 16:42:21 GMT -5
I'm lost on this, too. Sounds pretty awful. What would be the reason? Desperate and can't find a partner one likes? How desperate would one need to be? i think it would cover..loveless marriages and prostitution..based on lust etc There are mzny reasons why a man or woman would have sex with someone they did not like. I have done it on five occasions and for different reasons each time. On one occasion I hated the girl but found her extremely attractive. On another occasion I did it out of revenge because she was an arrogant person and had deeply hurt a personal friend of mine. On another one I was drunk at a party and so was she and we both ended up having sex which neither of us really wanted. On another occasion I was lonely, depressed and had not been able to find a woman to share my life with and one came on to me so I took her up on her offer. On the other occasion I was also lonely, depressed and without a partner and I engaged in a business transaction with a woman who was hard as nails. I'm not proud of these five lapses of judgement but at least I have the courage to own up to my misdeeds. Of course I have had many more relationships where I liked the girl but not enough for it to develop into something more - as well as ones where I loved her but she did not love me (that happened to me twice).
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Post by fretslider on Jan 10, 2011 16:55:29 GMT -5
I'm lost on this, too. Sounds pretty awful. What would be the reason? Desperate and can't find a partner one likes? How desperate would one need to be? i think it would cover..loveless marriages and prostitution..based on lust etc But surely a man would pay for a prostitute that he at least liked the look of. If it isn't mutual it just isn't worth it. A loveless marriage? usually the love dies after a time, so there once was love and when the fall out starts the sex stops. An arranged marriage, now that's something else.
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Post by beth on Jan 10, 2011 17:06:49 GMT -5
i think it would cover..loveless marriages and prostitution..based on lust etc There are mzny reasons why a man or woman would have sex with someone they did not like. I have done it on five occasions and for different reasons each time. On one occasion I hated the girl but found her extremely attractive. On another occasion I did it out of revenge because she was an arrogant person and had deeply hurt a personal friend of mine. On another one I was drunk at a party and so was she and we both ended up having sex which neither of us really wanted. On another occasion I was lonely, depressed and had not been able to find a woman to share my life with and one came on to me so I took her up on her offer. On the other occasion I was also lonely, depressed and without a partner and I engaged in a business transaction with a woman who was hard as nails. I'm not proud of these five lapses of judgement but at least I have the courage to own up to my misdeeds. Of course I have had many more relationships where I liked the girl but not enough for it to develop into something more - as well as ones where I loved her but she did not love me (that happened to me twice). That's too bad, Mike. I've never done anything like that and have high hopes I never will, so I had trouble wrapping my head around it.
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Post by biglin on Jan 10, 2011 17:08:30 GMT -5
When I was a stupid teenager I screwed loads of blokes I didn't like.
Mainly it was out of bravado and wanting to look the roughest and toughest girl around.
I can't speak for other women but that's why I did it.
Of course, when you find love there's nothing like it to lift your spirits and make you happy.
As I wrote in a poem once
'Love is always worth it, No matter how deep the sorrow cuts.'
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Erasmus
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Post by Erasmus on Jan 10, 2011 20:28:35 GMT -5
I think it's more prevalent for males, especially young. Even today there is still a strong male sense of getting the girl as conquest and despising her for giving in - which leads to the interesting observation that if the girls they knock around with are sluts unworthy of their respect in their view, then they must be the kind of boys that only sluts unworthy of respect are prepared to go with ... On the other hand, that kind tend to regard all females that way. There's another side that sometimes happens that amounts to an orgy where nobody really cares about anybody else but they're not putting them down specifically for it either.
I have nothing in principle against prostitution and casual sex, though personal feelings put it for me on the level of a gourmet restaurant meal for one, if there is no deeper relationship - sad. What I do find is that there is a huge difference between men who regard a professional or amateur one-night-stand prostitute as an equal lady performing a service or sharing a pleasure, and those for whom she is just a whore - making themselves what exactly?
It's no surprise at all that contempt runs absolutely proportionate to Puritanism. Nearly always that means considering women as pursued to give consent to pursuing men with no demand of their own, and the more that idea is pushed, the more girls are taught to believe that even admitting sexual demands in their own right is giving in as sex objects for men, and deprived of equal authority in the exchange.
This was something that I remember strongly from what I call the '60s' but was actually more about '68-'78, of 'girls' trying to explain to their mothers that they were not giving themselves cheap to male lust - they had some powerful lust of their own and were as prepared to make demands on the boys as the traditional vice-versa - or perhaps vice-versa is anal sex and that's an entirely different scenario, but I can never let a bad pun rest in any language.
Bugger me if I ever expected 40 years on to be hearing the same put-down of women asserting sex equally with men from older sexually repressed women that was raised against those who are now called Feminists, now coming from older women who call themselves Feminists - and might even be the same girls grown up and turned into their mothers, who perhaps lived a more active sex life in the 1940s than was let on at the time, when death was all around and husbands and marriage records liable to be blown to bits, conveniently if they never existed at all. That was still true in the 1950s when there was still conscription for colonial wars in Malaya, Africa and Cyprus.
Although it is a little before my time, after a few years, it was hard to tell the exact age of children, and WW2 left the Allied troops and wartime restrictions in place for enough years that they got stroppy about it, merging into Korea - and then those colonial wars. Single mothers and ambivalance between Jerrybagsprostituting themselves for profit - which might be for themselves (like great-aunt Phyllis who had about twice as many children as her husband!) or what kept their siblings alive - girls who naturally fell for a boy not so different despite his language and grey uniform from some farm just doing the duty forced on him for his country, and those who came back later with vague tales of husbands shot down, were all around in the 1950s. That is why later times and especially the USA (to a lesser extent the UK) that did not experience those situations, try to deny they ever existed.
Single Mother problems? What do they imagine mothers do and always have done in and after every war? It's not the women who need to change, as modern Feminists insist; it is the men, as their predecessors with some guts instead of Quivering under the table in a Lesbian huddle the moment a man looks at them in need of becoming as much like traditional women as women have taken it for granted to wear men's clothes and do men's jobs.
That Feminism only confirms conservative demands on men for women to submit to too; it does not challenge them with an alternative accepting traditional women's concerns as of equal value or challenging whether traditional men's interests deserve the superior value they are given - mostly by Feminists - most women are far too aware of their own personality to give a tuppenny fart how feminists (too often homosexuals incapable of believing it possible to relate to men except as inferiors) tell them they should be Worker Bees, all feeling subordinate to those dreadful male drones with their degrading sex and friendship instead of Doing Your Bit for the Sister-hive.
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Post by mouse on Jan 11, 2011 3:47:56 GMT -5
i was once offered a job as area organiser ...by two ladies who had several sucessful sex bussinesses...tough as old boots they were and a chap[now dead] i knew from childhood ran a whole string of sex industry clubs/ houses/girls and made a fortune..if you didnt have the misfortune to work for him he was a charmer...
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Post by iamjumbo on Jan 11, 2011 18:54:07 GMT -5
I'm lost on this, too. Sounds pretty awful. What would be the reason? Desperate and can't find a partner one likes? How desperate would one need to be? Can't imagine why anyone would want to have sex with someone they dislike and despise unless they were a masochist or something. Love is putting the other person's happiness before your own (though better if people both were equally happy of course)!! unless you have a broken wrist, or in a girl's case, run out of batteries and the supermarket is out of bananas, i couldn't think of a reason either. that IS the definition of love. it is simply caring about someone so much that you are willing to put their well being ahead of yours
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