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Trust
Sept 21, 2011 1:42:49 GMT -5
Post by beth on Sept 21, 2011 1:42:49 GMT -5
Trust n. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.
Are you suspicious or trusting? How do you think that particular quality affects your relationships, your self esteem and your stress level?
1. You own a retail business with inventory that includes small items such as printer ribbons and mouse pads. Your employees are an older husband and wife who keep shop for you in the afternoon. At first, they would buy random, disposable, items now and then but over the past year, they've hardly bought anything at all. Do you trust them not to steal from you, or do you set up a couple of cameras to record critical areas of the store during your absence?
2. Consider the one that would apply to you.
a) Your male partner goes on a camping/fishing trip with his buds. As you unpack him and sort out laundry, you realize he didn't get home with a single pair of boxer shorts. You ask him about it and he says, "maybe they fell out of the laundry bag". Do you trust him or do you casually talk with the other guys to see if their memory of the weekend is different from his?
b) Your female partner leaves for a weekend of retail therapy and chick flicks in a nearby city with a couple of her friends. You're helping her unpack her bag and come upon one of her skirts damp and wrapped in a towel along with a pair of her panties. When you ask "what" ... she says , "Oh I had a spill and didn't want to risk setting in the stain". Do you trust her or make a point to invite yourself along the next time the girls leave town?
3. Your teen aged son uses your car a couple of weekends a month. You overhear him talking with a friend about someone being "spaced out". Do you let it go and trust him, or do you start giving the car a through search each time he brings it back and hands you the keys?
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Deleted
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Trust
Sept 21, 2011 10:24:01 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2011 10:24:01 GMT -5
Trust breeds trust, and honesty breeds honesty. The reverse is also true.
Therefore I'd vote for trust in all cases. So, I'm naive; and so, I may be ill served by circumstances. But I'll feel better about myself and the human race.
However, I would pay close attention to others' motivations and their track records of honesty.
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Trust
Sept 21, 2011 11:27:38 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2011 11:27:38 GMT -5
You own a retail business with inventory that includes small items such as printer ribbons and mouse pads. Your employees are an older husband and wife who keep shop for you in the afternoon. At first, they would buy random, disposable, items now and then but over the past year, they've hardly bought anything at all. Do you trust them not to steal from you, or do you set up a couple of cameras to record critical areas of the store during your absence? Proprietors here not only install security cameras within and without their places of business (security cameras are cheap), they background-check and drug-test prospective hires (also cheap) -- regardless of age. The question for a proprietor isn't whether or not to trust his employees. The question for a proprietor is why NOT spend a paltry amount to maximize the security and productivity of his business. Your female partner leaves for a weekend of retail therapy and chick flicks in a nearby city with a couple of her friends. You're helping her unpack her bag and come upon one of her skirts damp and wrapped in a towel along with a pair of her panties. When you ask "what" ... she says , "Oh I had a spill and didn't want to risk setting in the stain". Do you trust her or make a point to invite yourself along the next time the girls leave town? My wife has actually gone out of town for the weekend with her girlfriends many times. It doesn't bother me. I am actually grateful for the time alone. The question seems kind of dumb because any woman knows all the discreet ways to cuckold her husband. She would know where the laundromats are. Your teen aged son uses your car a couple of weekends a month. Oh no he doesn't. You overhear him talking with a friend about someone being "spaced out". Do you let it go and trust him, or do you start giving the car a through search each time he brings it back and hands you the keys? No parent should trust his/her car to a child. Let him buy his own.
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Deleted
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Trust
Sept 21, 2011 12:51:12 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2011 12:51:12 GMT -5
Trust n. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing. Are you suspicious or trusting? How do you think that particular quality affects your relationships, your self esteem and your stress level? 1. You own a retail business with inventory that includes small items such as printer ribbons and mouse pads. Your employees are an older husband and wife who keep shop for you in the afternoon. At first, they would buy random, disposable, items now and then but over the past year, they've hardly bought anything at all. Do you trust them not to steal from you, or do you set up a couple of cameras to record critical areas of the store during your absence? 2. Consider the one that would apply to you. a) Your male partner goes on a camping/fishing trip with his buds. As you unpack him and sort out laundry, you realize he didn't get home with a single pair of boxer shorts. You ask him about it and he says, "maybe they fell out of the laundry bag". Do you trust him or do you casually talk with the other guys to see if their memory of the weekend is different from his? b) Your female partner leaves for a weekend of retail therapy and chick flicks in a nearby city with a couple of her friends. You're helping her unpack her bag and come upon one of her skirts damp and wrapped in a towel along with a pair of her panties. When you ask "what" ... she says , "Oh I had a spill and didn't want to risk setting in the stain". Do you trust her or make a point to invite yourself along the next time the girls leave town? 3. Your teen aged son uses your car a couple of weekends a month. You overhear him talking with a friend about someone being "spaced out". Do you let it go and trust him, or do you start giving the car a through search each time he brings it back and hands you the keys? 1. I would install security cameras, not because I want to spy on my two employees but rather to protect them and the business from anti-social yobs abusing, threatening or stealing from them. 2 b. I don't have a female partner but a wife. I would trust her without question. She would prefer to unpack her things on her own and I would leave her alone. Even if I saw the said garment, I would accept her explanation without question. 3. This hasn't happened to me. I would not encourage him to take our only car out for an extended period by himself. For short periods, e.g. a few hours I have lent our car to him occasionally. Provided the car was brought back in good condition, I would not waste my time searching it afterwards. But if he gave me good cause e.g. to suspect presence of drugs in the car, I would go over it with the usual thoroughness that leaves nothing unturned. That never happened. Regards. Prashna
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Trust
Sept 21, 2011 16:21:35 GMT -5
Post by beth on Sept 21, 2011 16:21:35 GMT -5
Have to agree that the business should have had security cameras no matter who the employees or what their habits. Shop lifting is so common it's something to be expected ... not an exception but the rule.
Otherwise .. an awfully lot depends on the individuals involved. The easy route for each would be to trust. Keeps life simple ... iow, don't ask for trouble until it finds you.
With the teen ... that's such a hard call. We want to trust them but we also want to keep them safe. Maybe the answer here would be to tell him about the overheard conversation and see what he can tell you about the part that causes concern. Number one ... start young and try to keep lines of communication open with the kids.
I used to be very very trusting. Got a hard overdose of having my trust insulted and assulted so became more wary. Now, I'm trying to mellow that out because being too skeptical comes with its own set of problems. I have an uncle like that. If someone makes the simple move of offering a hand to shake, his reaction is "who are you? I don't know you. Back off!", and if he doesn't say it, it still shows. Otherwise, a really good guy.
Different people have different needs for personal space. With strangers or casual acquaintences, mine (for comfort) is about a foot (12 inches) on all sides.
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ladylinda
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Trust
Sept 21, 2011 17:47:29 GMT -5
Post by ladylinda on Sept 21, 2011 17:47:29 GMT -5
I've always been too trusting by nature. It's got me into trouble a lot of times especially when you trust people that make out like they're friends and then stab you in the back.
Fortunately the two worst online offenders aren't members of this board, thank goodness.
All the same, overall I think it's better to trust than not to.
It's not the same as being naive or gullible.
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Trust
Sept 22, 2011 3:59:08 GMT -5
Post by mouse on Sept 22, 2011 3:59:08 GMT -5
i take no one on face value..i like to bide my time trusting but wary untill i know them reasonaly well.....but once some one breaks trust that is it for ever... however i would put security cameras in a place of bussines where money was being handled as much for the sake of employees as my own mistakes are made and there is nothing worse than being acused and not being guilty and having no way to prove innocence..it happened to so one i know and it was dreadful
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ladylinda
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Trust
Sept 22, 2011 14:37:56 GMT -5
Post by ladylinda on Sept 22, 2011 14:37:56 GMT -5
In answer to the questions
Security cameras - yes
I trust my husband with my life and I'd believe him
I don't have a wife so it doesn't apply!
My kids are too young to drive but: a) I'd be very unlikely to let them loose on their own with our car when they are; b) as an ex-junkie I know what spaced out means and I'd talk to him from the heart and my own experience and beg him not to be as stupid as I was.
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Trust
Sept 23, 2011 9:49:52 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2011 9:49:52 GMT -5
I thought I was being clever in solving one of those problems.
I have my son a very bad old car and a set of very good new tools.
Problem is, he always conned me into doing his work for him.
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