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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2011 13:54:03 GMT -5
Patience is one of the most under-rated (and most rarely practised) virtues.
Over the last few days I've been besieged by a traumatised lady from New York City on my main forum (it's an online support board for victims of rape, sexual abuse and violent assault).
Not only have I had to keep telling her that it was NOT her fault that she got raped but I have also had to contend with a flood of tearful PMs from her virtually begging me to rape her.
Apart from being deeply painful it is also embarrassing to have to respond to that kind of message.
Finally I believe she is beginning to feel better about herself.
I was patient even though my instinct was to scream and shout at her, for goodness sake, you silly woman, grow up!
When a person is hurt (in reality or through an imagined slight) patience, like tact and sensitivity, is the most productive way in whcih to respond to them,.
Simply denying their feelings or, worse still, regarding them as some sort of loose cannon er troublemaker is counterproductive and serves NO usefual purpose.
I apologise for my absence from this board but it was a major emotional crisis and I simply had to deal with it!
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Post by sadie on Apr 4, 2011 14:48:57 GMT -5
She sounds like a deeply emotionally scarred person. I am glad she found you to talk to rather than someone that would take advantage of her.
It sounds like you have turned your own emotional trauma around to help people. That is a wonderful and very admirable thing.
Stay strong!
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Post by iamjumbo on Apr 4, 2011 15:01:17 GMT -5
there's something to be said about playing white knight. i've done it most of my life. sometimes though, you do wonder if its worth the effort.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2011 7:21:30 GMT -5
Thank you both for your kind words. Of course all the members are somewhat damaged but every now and again I've had some who are so seriously messed up by their experiences that they are simply unable to accept that they are VICTIMS and NOT responsible for what happened to them.
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Post by iamjumbo on Apr 6, 2011 8:53:22 GMT -5
Thank you both for your kind words. Of course all the members are somewhat damaged but every now and again I've had some who are so seriously messed up by their experiences that they are simply unable to accept that they are VICTIMS and NOT responsible for what happened to them. that's why rape is worse than murder. the damage lingers for the rest of the victim's life. most are able to eventually come to terms with it and lead a relatively normal life, but none are able to completely clear it. it's been thirty-five plus years since hazel's dad was molesting her, and i just had to go through two nightmares with it this morning. it NEVER goes away. the meds are supposed to prevent that, and do for the most part, but there are no meds that will erase it completely
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