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Post by fretslider on May 2, 2010 13:45:17 GMT -5
You’ve all seen it, the “man trance”. An unsuspecting male is temporarily transfixed by the sight of a woman’s breasts, parading by in a low-cut, too-tight sweater. His eyes glaze over. Seconds later the breasts pass out of sight and he resumes normal activity. Girlfriends and wives may find such behaviour exasperating and insensitive, especially when it happens right under their noses but a new book on gender differences suggests that they should be glad: it shows that their guy is normal.
In The Male Brain, Louann Brizendine, the American psychiatrist, follows up her controversial 2006 bestseller The Female Brain, which famously — and incorrectly — claimed that women use an average of 20,000 words a day compared with only 7,000 for men, and explores how the differences between the male and female brains often lead to the profoundest of misunderstandings and unintended consequences. Her conclusion that the male brain, “marinated in testosterone” since the eighth week of conception, is hardwired to cause men to lie, take risks and suppress their emotions, is equally controversial, appearing to suggest that men’s behaviour is devoid of personal responsibility and social conditioning.
I think the observations are fairly correct, but the assumption/conclusion is plain daft.
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Post by iamjumbo on May 2, 2010 14:09:23 GMT -5
that's why i wear shirts that say "please tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes"
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Post by fretslider on May 2, 2010 14:10:46 GMT -5
that's why i wear shirts that say "please tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes" Or as we say, put 'em away, darlin'
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alanseago
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Post by alanseago on May 2, 2010 14:46:45 GMT -5
"n The Male Brain, Louann Brizendine, the American psychiatrist, follows up her controversial 2006 bestseller The Female Brain, which famously — and incorrectly — claimed that women use an average of 20,000 words a day " They do not mention that 18, 978 of those words are 'me'.
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2010 16:12:35 GMT -5
I find this type of 'research' rather amusing to be honest.
In my experience both genders are equally capable of behaving well or badly. Men and women both lie, enjoy gossip, can be fiercely loyal, loving, angry, self-pitying, unreasonable and downright stupid at times.
I have also noticed many women - perhaps particularly those under the age of around 40 - who ogle and clearly appraise men in the same manner that heterosexual males do women.
I have also seen lesbians and homosexual men behaving in the same way towards those who belong to the sex that they find preferable.
Sex, lust, call it what you will, is a natural human reaction and it is simply dishonest to pretend that either gender is - at least when cultural repressions have not compelled them to disguise their honest and natural feelings - more or less sexually motivated.
Like so much 'pop psychology,' it is basically nonsense.
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Erasmus
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Post by Erasmus on May 2, 2010 22:04:12 GMT -5
Feminists and other traditionally man-scared women notice these things and feel intimidated. They ignore the number of women who relish in staring at bulging men's pants or builders stripped to the waist, and show off just like Italian men in skin-tight pant showing everything on the basis of If you've got it, flaunt it (and be proud of it). If they notice them at all, it is to condemn them as somehow enthralled to male dominance while using the identical situation when men do it as 'evidence' of the same male dominance that exists only in their own minds. So, it seems, does the testosterone poisoning that they like to imagine to justify their 'Victorian' belief in women as natural born moral superiors but social inferiors to men. See New Scientistand to a lesser extent World Science
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Post by fretslider on May 3, 2010 4:20:42 GMT -5
Feminists and other traditionally man-scared women notice these things and feel intimidated. They ignore the number of women who relish in staring at bulging men's pants or builders stripped to the waist, and show off just like Italian men in skin-tight pant showing everything on the basis of If you've got it, flaunt it (and be proud of it). If they notice them at all, it is to condemn them as somehow enthralled to male dominance while using the identical situation when men do it as 'evidence' of the same male dominance that exists only in their own minds. So, it seems, does the testosterone poisoning that they like to imagine to justify their 'Victorian' belief in women as natural born moral superiors but social inferiors to men. See New Scientistand to a lesser extent World ScienceIts easy to utilise the placebo effect - plant the idea in the mind and watch 'em go. Nothing new there. Enabling and disabling alleles is nothing new really either. The big mistake most people tend to make is to assume that alleles work in splendid isolation; a gene for this and a gene for that. Its far from simple groups of genes work together. From short to shaggy, nearly all the differences in dogs' coat types result from variations in a group of three genes. It is important that we understand how multiple genes are involved in complex human conditions, such as cancer, heart disease, diabetes and obesity. The media, however, love a headline like 'breast cancer gene located' I suppose its aimed at Sun readers
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Post by beth on May 3, 2010 15:54:57 GMT -5
Most men will have a look. The question seems to be - how does this affect women. If I'm the one who is the recipient of a whistle or long look - that happens less as we get older, btw, I like to think it's because we dress differently than when we were 25 - it can be kind of fun. But, if it happens when we're with a partner, boyfriend, husband, etc., it can be a little embarrassing. Now, OTOH, IF the gesture is made toward another woman BY a partner, boyfriend or husband while I am on the scene - a lot depends on the man. Some men can pull that off and never cause negative feelings, while others mix it with a large dollop of disrespect. Alan, I tend to agree with you on the "me" remark. When you toss in I, my and mine . . . well, it does stretch the total.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2010 16:59:25 GMT -5
If you are confident about your relationship it ought not to be a problem. Lin and I have both been known to glance with interest at attractive members of the opposite sex and neither of us takes offence because we both know that we would never betray one another.
Committing mental adultery is hardly the same as actually engaging in sexual activity!
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Post by beth on May 3, 2010 17:05:41 GMT -5
If you are confident about your relationship it ought not to be a problem. Lin and I have both been known to glance with interest at attractive members of the opposite sex and neither of us takes offense because we both know that we would never betray one another. Committing mental adultery is hardly the same as actually engaging in sexual activity! I agree, totally, Mike. It depends on the people. They say lust is a combination of ego and attraction, while love is a meeting of hearts and minds. The best relationships have both, and when that's the case, a little eye candy seldom causes problems.
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Erasmus
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Post by Erasmus on May 3, 2010 17:53:57 GMT -5
Women, mostly, are more aware of their appearance int this culture than men for the two reasons that this culture tends to think of being aware of physical attraction as feminine, and so, to despise it, where Latins feel far less so, and that Anglo-Saxon culture again is far more geared to valuing people by its long tradition of industrial working-class usage of what they can do to exploit, where others have come much later and valued men as much as women by what they are and how they behave in social relationship terms.
Peasants and professionals working for themselves may deserve respect, employees are just servants doing and dependent on what Their Master's Voice commands, so worthy of respect only for what they do as individuals outside of their job - and also their job confers no greater respect just because it earns more money than another.
It is not what you do to interact with people, but how. There's far more difference of respect between admiring somebody's self-presentation as somebody who respects themself enough for you to want to respect and making them feel like assessing the goods in a market for your own usage, than there is between accepting what you find physically attractive as part of the person overall, most likely influenced by other factors of personality that can change a dumpy little woman into the most desirable creature around because of her smile, or its opposite where only who will do what with whom matters but you either respect each other for fun shared, or each try to be the first to get away and never see each other again. Glad to say, I have never wanted to one of the latter, though I've known members of both sexes to brag of their rejection of relationship.
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Post by Wonder Woman on May 3, 2010 19:40:11 GMT -5
Well, not for nothin', and no, I don't lean that way, but if some woman is hanging it all out in too tight tops, I'd probably be staring too.
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Post by Wonder Woman on May 3, 2010 19:57:06 GMT -5
"n The Male Brain, Louann Brizendine, the American psychiatrist, follows up her controversial 2006 bestseller The Female Brain, which famously — and incorrectly — claimed that women use an average of 20,000 words a day " They do not mention that 18, 978 of those words are 'me'. Hey, now! .............. That is absolutely untrue. I use 'I' at least as much as me. Then there's the 'my' and 'myself' and I also use 'you' an awful lot. You shoulda, you coulda, you shouldn't, you weren't, you betcha, and you wonder why 'I' talk more about 'me' than 'you'... you get the picture.
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Erasmus
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Post by Erasmus on May 3, 2010 22:00:29 GMT -5
If you like somebody, you admire. If you're a kid, you stare. Both sexes, all ages. The only difference is that if you call yourself a feminist, you call any woman who finds men attractive and any woman who dresses to be as sexual to attract men as she can get away with a victim of male superiors and insist they have no concept, let alone desire, for equal relationship with men and are poor feeble victims incapable of equality with the men they despise and reject if expected to meet on equal terms.
without hangups, we meet as equal human beings, with perhaps our own nervousnesses, but not string enough to be prejudices. It takes background prejudice to develop those. That is why teenagers of both sexes are far more certain of their equality than their elders who have learnt to play the feeble female and to expect women to manipulate them by playing that act, whether they call it morality or feminism.
Girls learn not to give it away to boys, and boys that to expect girls to feel equal is demanding it on a plate, so the old prudery continues under different excuses for ever and ever amen. The worst bigots of the lot condemning all females who dare to admit a sexual freedom as equals with men instead of run cringing from them, to cuddle up to the women condemning them for asserting equality with men, call themselves 'feminists'. They are terrified of men as dominating them as they dominate their 'girlfriends' they enjoy far more dependent upon them than any man would expect of a woman. Hell hath no fury like a Lesbian scorned
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Post by pumpkinpie on May 3, 2010 22:55:51 GMT -5
I find this type of 'research' rather amusing to be honest. In my experience both genders are equally capable of behaving well or badly. Men and women both lie, enjoy gossip, can be fiercely loyal, loving, angry, self-pitying, unreasonable and downright stupid at times. I have also noticed many women - perhaps particularly those under the age of around 40 - who ogle and clearly appraise men in the same manner that heterosexual males do women. I have also seen lesbians and homosexual men behaving in the same way towards those who belong to the sex that they find preferable. Sex, lust, call it what you will, is a natural human reaction and it is simply dishonest to pretend that either gender is - at least when cultural repressions have not compelled them to disguise their honest and natural feelings - more or less sexually motivated. Like so much 'pop psychology,' it is basically nonsense. Your post is excellently well said! Maybe in the old days things were different, but now a days- men, at least the men I work with, gossip more than the women! So there you have it- both men and women- gossip, both men and women look at each other lustfully- it's not just the guy. And if a woman is hanging it all out- she's doing it for the sake of male attention. She wants the male eyes to be all over her, wanting her, wanting to see what she's got. So she can either get noticed, or give whoever she wants some action, or both. But, as you say, there are also the types of BOTH men and women who do behave decently and with class. Not that checking someone out is wrong, but hanging it all out is pretty classless.
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