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Post by thunder on Sept 10, 2012 12:10:27 GMT -5
You're out with your family at a restaurant when you see your best friend's partner at a table with a stranger. From their behavior, you get the sense that there's something else going on besides a meal, and certainly, something more than friendship. As they ask for the check and leave, you excuse yourself, saying you need to use the restroom, but instead, follow them outside without being seen. They hold hands as they walk to their car, and once inside, silhouetted against the dim lighting of the night, they embrace, and passionately kiss. Do you: - ... do nothing at all, and just forget it ever happened?
- ... immediately go to your cell phone and call your friend?
- ... send your friend an anonymous email "hinting" that something is going on with their partner?
- ... rush up to car and begin pounding on the window shouting you won't say anything this time, but you'd better not see it happen again?
- ...do something else not listed here, and if so, what?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 10, 2012 12:13:12 GMT -5
I would not have followed them outside. It's none of my business.
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Post by fretslider on Sept 10, 2012 12:24:43 GMT -5
do something else not listed here, and if so, what?
Order another drink.
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Hunny
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Post by Hunny on Sept 10, 2012 12:25:32 GMT -5
something else: go tell him, in person.
I'd have to tell my best friend what they would surely want me to tell them if I knew of it. After all...best friend.
It would save them from a long period of being made a fool of, then finding out anyway.
I've seen that kind of thing happen, and everyone knew. Everyone! ..except the guy who was getting cheated on. No one would tell him.
There used to be a word for that...it's ancient and unused now but..cuckold. A cuckold was someone who was being cheated on and everyone knew but him. (It actually meant "fool")
So if there was a word just for this, that tells me it maybe happens regularly.
..Yea, a best friend has to tell. A best friend hasn't got a choice not to.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 10, 2012 12:39:22 GMT -5
something else: go tell him, in person. You're assuming your best friend doesn't already know, and that he wants to know. That's a lot to assume. What if you're wrong? I've been cuckolded, and the thought of who could have told me about it before I found out never entered my mind. The onus was on her and on no one else. In fact her adultery would have been all the more contemptible if she hadn't been discreet. Then again, I'm a guy. Women probably feel they need to say something or their heads will explode.
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Post by beth on Sept 10, 2012 15:34:53 GMT -5
I wouldn't have kfollowed them outsde. You're making all sorts of assumptions and intruding in something you (apparently) know nothing about.
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Post by thunder on Sept 10, 2012 17:26:17 GMT -5
I wouldn't have kfollowed them outsde. You're making all sorts of assumptions and intruding in something you (apparently) know nothing about. You'll note that there was an indication that something was going on before going outside. Whether or not you would follow them is really not here nor there. At the heart of the mater is whether or not you'd be faithful to your best friend, and perhaps, if it was happening to you, would you want your best friend to tell you. I think it's easy to say that it's none of my business, or that I wouldn't have followed them. If it were me, I'd want to know, and if it were my best friend, I'd tell them, or at least ask them if they were aware it was going on.
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Post by men an tol on Sept 10, 2012 17:33:42 GMT -5
This is sort of like when someone is having a problem with their partner. It seems that there is always that 'special' friend who is there with all kinds of advice. None of which is to find a way to fix the partnership.
The only reason a 'friend' gets involved is their own ego. Stay out of it! It is not only none of your business, whatever you do will not help.
Being together with someone is tough and through the years there will be challenges. The last thing that is needed is a nosey, loud mouth 'friend' w ho will only make matters worse and lessen the chance of mak ing up.
Good post. Ping!
Believe it or not, most people prefer to work things like this out without others being involved. Nosy parkers cause and encourage problems that might never happen if left to the people involved. Friendships most often thrive on a need to know basis. Respect your friend's privacy and they'll usually appreciate it. If they need your help or opinion and you're REALLY a good friend, they'll sense that and let you know.
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Post by thunder on Sept 10, 2012 17:38:12 GMT -5
This is sort of like when someone is having a problem with their partner. It seems that there is always that 'special' friend who is there with all kinds of advice. None of which is to find a way to fix the partnership. The only reason a 'friend' gets involved is their own ego. Stay out of it! It is not only none of your business, whatever you do will not help. Being together with someone is tough and through the years there will be challenges. The last thing that is needed is a nosey, loud mouth 'friend' who will only make matters worse and lessen the chance of mak ing up. Okay, now consider that the friend eventually finds out their partner has been unfaithful for a prolonged period of time, and you never said anything. What might that do to your friendship?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 10, 2012 18:41:56 GMT -5
consider that the friend eventually finds out their partner has been unfaithful for a prolonged period of time, and you never said anything. What might that do to your friendship? I would venture to say in most cases it would do nothing to a male-male friendship. It begs the question how many people really want to know if a partner has been cheating. I wouldn't.
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Post by thunder on Sept 10, 2012 18:53:57 GMT -5
consider that the friend eventually finds out their partner has been unfaithful for a prolonged period of time, and you never said anything. What might that do to your friendship? I would venture to say in most cases it would do nothing to a male-male friendship. It begs the question how many people really want to know if a partner has been cheating. I wouldn't. That would be an ex-friend for me. I'd rather not be made a fool of behind my back (or in front, for that matter) but, there's always a local news item here about a homicide due to someone caught cheating. I'm of the opinion that most would want to know, and the sooner the better.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 10, 2012 19:02:50 GMT -5
I'd rather not be made a fool of behind my back (or in front, for that matter) but, there's always a local news item here about a homicide due to someone caught cheating. I'm of the opinion that most would want to know, and the sooner the better. Has it happened to you? I'm guessing it hasn't.
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Post by thunder on Sept 10, 2012 19:10:13 GMT -5
I'd rather not be made a fool of behind my back (or in front, for that matter) but, there's always a local news item here about a homicide due to someone caught cheating. I'm of the opinion that most would want to know, and the sooner the better. Has it happened to you? I'm guessing it hasn't. In high school, sure.
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Hunny
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Post by Hunny on Sept 10, 2012 20:32:41 GMT -5
I'm kind of surprised to hear people saying they wouldn't want to know!
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Post by mouse on Sept 11, 2012 2:20:47 GMT -5
it actually happened to me...when i saw my friends husband[who was also our friend] out with another woman...he didnt see me...i did nothing at the time but a few days later i managed to see him alone and told him that i/we had seen him......i was neither condeming nor suporting of his actions...but did remind him what he had to lose his wife/home/kids etc etc about two years ago just after he and my friend had celebrated 50yrs of happy and contented marriage his wife died... at the funeral he came over and thanked me for reminding him all those years ago of what he had to lose for what was no more than a passing fancy at the time...in all those years neither of us had ever mentioned it...... in my book what you dont know doesnt hurt
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